Connecting the End of Summer to My Disconnect

For the past few months, I’ve been disconnected with the movement of the world. I didn’t know what caused this lack of grounding, so I passed the days tackling the large list of projects I have on the go. Some days, I felt disorientated. It was like I was lost, a drift at sea with no land in sight and no sails to propel me forward.

This inspired a trip to a medium to see if I could find the source of the disconnect. Coincidentally, before I sat down, she had a vision of me walking the beach searching for people to save from a ship wreck. Apparently, I had feared my light was not bright enough to guide the ship to safety. However, my job was to save those who managed to crawl from the sea and to gather the bodies that drifted in.

She went on to say that I hadn’t lost my light, that it had dimmed. I needed only to find a way to ground myself and get the confidence to brighten it.

While I understood to some degree and visited a beach afterwards to spur on the brightening of my light, a few days later, I found myself lost again.

Then last night a possibility I hadn’t considered came to mind. While out locking up the animals for the evening, I thought about how wonderful October was. The cool nights and light frost told me it was autumn, but the warm sunny days made it feel like summer. Unlike years before, this summer had stretched into October.

Then it struct me. Since 2004, summer had always started at the end of June and ended on Labour Day Monday. But not this year. You see, this is the first year I don’t have a child returning to the classroom. They’ve all graduated and are working. The first day of school hadn’t ended summer like it had for 17 years. There was no transition from playing outside to working indoors and schedules.

Unknowingly, I had entered a new phase in life. I no longer have to deal with the government school system and their schedule. While I felt the relief when my youngest graduated, I hadn’t realised the freedom gained by not marching to the system.

I wonder if this is the cause of my disconnect. I have to examine this more and see where it takes me. Whether it is or isn’t, I now realise I am free to chart a different course from years gone by.